Connections
A collection of resources for fostering connection and reconnection—guides, words, and wisdom—I hope you’ll consider exploring.
••• A Brief Unfolding
The other day, Kate Bush’s This Woman’s Work came on the radio(!) while I was driving in the car. It’s one of very few songs that sends me immediately into a heaving, sobbing cry. I know it isn’t some big secret—a song, or a smell, can hit us just so, our emotional guard drops, and we’re free for a moment. This time, instead of changing the station or trying to just keep driving through the moment, I pulled the car over and just sat, listening and letting the tears fall.
I don’t know exactly what it is about that song, but without fail, fifteen seconds in I instantly drop into a deep space of reconnection to...myself. I grieve, I hope, I remember. I just allow myself to be with it all, to let it both tear open lost longing or regret, and rebuild my capacity to feel awe and hope.
I could be romanticizing the moment, but that’s truly what it feels like—to surrender to the tears and to make contact with whatever is churning below the surface—to reconnect to my soft, tender heart. And I know that the more often I reconnect there, the more wholly I can connect with others, with you.
••• Choose Connection
As the year winds down I hope you get to gather together with kindreds of all kinds. Even when the weather, and the world, is cold and we feel like staying in, we owe it to one another and ourselves to choose connection.
For this letter, here is a short collection of resources for fostering connection and reconnection—guides, words, and wisdom—I hope you’ll consider exploring.
A Certified Connection
Are you very tired (and maybe sort of demoralized because it drains you of every last bit of creativity and optimism in your body) of answering—and asking—the question, How are you?? Same. But we don’t have to wallow in dread, thanks to certified connection coach, author, and remarkable human, Kat Vellos.
If you don’t know about Kat (yet), you’ve been missing out. A perfect place to start, is with the Connection Jet Pack, which includes inspiration for cultivating connection throughout life—plus: dozens of alternatives to the how-are-you of it all. Or if you’re keen to embrace the sparkling conversationalist you know you are, the BFF Builder Bundle comes with free shipping (today!). Oh, and before you do anything else, sign up for the Friendship 5 newsletter.
A Friendship Practice
Writer and yoga teacher Sue Choi’s Keep Practicing newsletter is a balm. Not only because she talks a lot about personal growth and being kind to oneself in the process—she also invites her father, Nam-Hyun Choi, to write some of the posts. His latest post is all about friendship. He writes:
“...I know whom I would like to have as a friend. It’s a person I would like to be with when I am in trouble. It’s also a person I would like to be near when that person is in trouble.”
I admire and cherish this perspective, imagining the safety and solace we can give and receive in friendship; that real friendship is deep and honest, and not always free of trouble.
A Conflict Evolution
Hot take (not, like, at all): real connection isn’t sustainable without understanding and practicing how to navigate conflict. If you are here on Earth, it’s a when, not an if. And Nicole Cardoza (of Anti-Racism Daily / now Reimagined) is offering a new, unsurprisingly timely workshop in December, reframing conflict resolution to conflict evolution. Spots are still open: Conflict Evolution: From Friction to Transformational Change.
A Love Connection
It would be easier to find the parts of bell hooks’ all about love that I haven’t underlined; I’ve even underlined parts of the introduction. I know, you don’t need me to tell you how beautiful hooks’ words are, no matter what she’s writing about. But this book is one of my bibles. To quote hooks, “We still believe in love’s promise.” And while love and connection aren’t necessarily or always bound, I do think love (self-love and for others) is a pilot light for connection.
Sounds of Connection
What would be on your perfect playlist if it was only full of songs that make you cry—or, songs that you could listen to when you need a good cry or to get in touch with something deep inside—or, ok, songs that make you feel your most YOU? If you’re up for sharing, I’d love to know what one or some of those songs might be—it can be public (in the comments) or private (email or DM me)—and maybe we can grow a little playlist. 🎶🌱
Connect With Me
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